Saturday, August 29, 2015

Caregiver: And Now

The Pink House On The Corner
Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Well, my nephew has come and gone, and we had a real good time. I so enjoyed his company and he helped me take Bob's lift down from the bathroom ceiling and haul that plus a bunch of boxes into the attic. And move the hospital bed into the back bedroom --- quite a step for me.

David and Kona

And we had some fun and even hit the beach! -- first time for me, since -- well, before you-know-what:

At the beach -- that's David on the left side,
way down there in the water!
I did the "old lady thing" and rented a cabana - - as it was so very hot. So he swam while I hid in the shade reading my grim books.

So now I'm alone again and I tell you, I am still not handling any of this well.  Yesterday, I ran into a old neighbor (from our old neighborhood) at the dog park and after telling him that Bob died, Boomer died, etc. he got all excited and told me "You have a NEW LIFE, a NEW HOUSE, and NEW DOG!" and that this was a "TIME OF OPPORTUNITY!!" for me and I should embrace it as a good thing.

Oh my --- I wish I could feel that way, but mostly, I spend my days crying and just getting through, doing what I have to. And feeling alone, lonely and watching way too much ID (Investigation Discovery) Channel -- just because it makes me feel better --- I mean, my life might suck but at least I don't have any decapitated heads buried in my garage!

And I miss Bob, so so very much....

And I don't know how to go on/if I can go on without him.  I am not doing so well, at all.

Did sign up for a grief support group --- starts next week.

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