Saturday, January 09, 2016

Jester: CARP – [Canadian Association of Retired People]

Jackie Poff
Stroke Survivors Tattler
 Questions and Answers from CARP Forum

Q:  Where can single men over the age of 60 find younger women
       who are interested in them?
A:  Try a bookstore, under Fiction.

Q:  What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A:  Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the
      basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.

Q:  Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the
      bible... Is that true? Where can it be found?
A:  Yes. Matthew 14:92:  "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the 
      way to Egypt ..."

Q:  How can you increase the heart rate of your over-60 year-old husband?
A:  Tell him you're pregnant.

Q:  How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A:  Take off your glasses.

Q:  Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A:  Go braless. It will usually pull them out..

Q:  Why should 60 plus year old people use valet parking?
A:  Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q:  Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A:  Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

Q:  As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A:  Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q:  Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A:  On their foreheads.

Q:  What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter
      antique stores?
A:  "Gosh, I remember these!"

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